What Makes You So #%&?@*! Perfect?

Here’s proof that Mike and I are far from perfect:

1. Greyson watches TV and can easily tell you everything you need to know about Shrek, The Polar Express, Casper, The Goonies, Willy Wonka (the original and Johnny Depp versions), Toy Story, UP, Scooby Doo, Curious George, Little Einsteins, Imagination Movers and Back to the Future*.  He has recently adopted the George McFly laugh and believe me, you’d pay to hear it. 
2. I gave him peanut butter at age 1 without instructions on what would happen if he went into anaphylactic shock.
3. We lecture him on the evils of processed foods and food coloring and secretly eat Cheetos when he’s not looking.
4. I pay him $1.00 to try everything on his plate.
5. When he sasses us, we skip the timeouts and go straight to Worcestershire.  One spoonful goes a long way.
6. I drank coffee every day of my 2nd pregnancy and post-partum while I breastfed.
7. I stopped breastfeeding after 3 months because I wanted to drink more coffee.
8. I have used the evil monster voice (think the Gargoyles in Ghost Busters) if Greyson fights me at bedtime.
9. I have occasionally used the evil monster voice when Graham is fed, changed, slept and still won’t stop crying.
10. I feel sorry for myself when the kids are demanding 100% of my time while I daydream about a day at the spa, a tour of wine country, Ultimate Frisbee on the side lawn or a road trip to watch a college football game.

And then I see my boys on the floor together in the morning while I’m getting dressed for work.  Graham topples over after showing off his ability to sit all by himself and Greyson says “It’s OK. I’m here”.

*List has been condensed as author recognizes her readers have limited time.

GREY*isms*

• G:  (After praying before bedtime) “Great-grandma is in heaven and OJ is too?”
• Me: “Yep, she sure is. I bet she’s laughing and dancing!”
• G:  “She can’t dance!  She’s in a box.”