Cars

GRAHAM*isms*

• Me:  “Graham, can you say car?”
• Graham:  “Cahh”

Earlier this week, I drove to a meeting that required me to use the highway. Let me note that I rarely have to get on the highway around here because 1- my office is very close to our house 2- I work from home whenever possible and 3- I use a car service to get to/from the airport so when the highway is required, I’m not usually the one driving.  While driving on the highway today for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was driving really, really fast.  I looked down at the speedometer and I wasn’t even driving the speed limit (60mph).  I laughed to myself.  Times have changed…or have they?

Those who know me really well know that I have a driving record for the ages.  An abysmal, embarrassing, ridiculous driving record that is absolute proof positive that the legal driving age should be extended.  I passed my driver’s test on the first try 2 weeks after my 16th birthday.  I botched the parallel park and forgot to check my blind spot before pulling into traffic.  I guess the short skirt really did do the trick.

1 week later I got pulled over for speeding on Hwy 73 in Plainfield.  He gave me a warning.  2 weeks after that, I was pulled over again.  This time in the big city of Stevens Point while driving my friend Cari’s pickup truck (yes, pickup truck).  I didn’t get off so easy that time and still remember the pit in my stomach at the thought of having to tell my parents I got a $75 ticket.  That was a feeling I got used to.

My parents gave me their 1980 Ford Pinto. Manual transmission.  Poop Brown.  I loved it.  My first “oops” happened on the way to volleyball practice. My Pepsi-Cola fell off of the center hump onto the floor and when I leaned down to pick it up, I pulled the steering wheel with me and drove straight into the ditch. I never took my foot off the gas so I gunned it out of the ditch and aside from losing my license plate in the process, otherwise kept the car in tact. I didn’t have to report that incident to my parents but I can’t remember how I explained the missing plate and grass sticking out of the hood.  A few weeks later, I put the car in a ditch again. This time it took a carful of vacationing Illinois boys who happened upon us to pick the car up and pull it out.  I remember being very happy that my car went in the ditch because the boys were cute.  I didn’t have to report that one either.

One month after that, I flipped that car a few times. Too much speed, bald tires and a County Road at night. The accident ended my volleyball season with a fractured back. My school assumed I had been drinking (absolutely not one drop). Angels surrounded the car that night and it was 8 months before I drove again.  I remember dropping a girlfriend off in my mom’s Taurus wagon after practice about a year later and coming across a family of skunks in the middle of the road.  I was so afraid, I slowed down to about 5 mph and ran them over.  My dad told me never to swerve if a deer crossed the road so I applied that advice to the skunks.  The car stunk for weeks.

I went without incident for a while but over the course of the next 15 years, I rear-ended 3 cars, T-boned a parked car while in reverse, backed out of the garage before the roof could clear the door, fell asleep at the wheel, hit a deer with a friend’s convertible (I didn’t swerve!) and backed, bumped, swiped and kissed numerous bumpers, doors and side mirrors.  None of this takes into account the speeding tickets (10-ish, maybe?) including one that landed me in the Milwaukee Country Jail for an entire day (my 2nd most embarrassing moment of all time that I will gladly share in person over a glass of wine).

My parents, and now us, have paid way too much money in insurance and premiums and at one point, our agent asked Mike why he even let me behind the wheel. 

What I wanted to blog, when I was thinking about how “fast” I felt on the highway was that I pray my kids don’t inherit my driving instincts and that before they turn 16 the government raises the legal driving age to 36. The good news is, when the kids get to an age where parents trade off carpooling, I can share a link to this blog post and outsource that duty for good. 

So Graham said “cahh” on command and I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket in years (yes, years!). 

Here’s some pics from this weekend.  Greyson’s 1st tee ball game was today (he’s enjoying it and picking it up quickly), we dyed Easter eggs tonight and Graham showed off a new dance that made him so dizzy he fell down.  I’m on a plane to the East Coast tomorrow; home on Wednesday and looking forward to Easter weekend with the boys. 

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Greyson has been printing his letters obsessively.  He's spelling words like 'eat', 'gum' and of course his name and Graham's name.  He printed Graham's name so well last week that I thought Mike had done it.  He now has a sign on his door that says 'Do not enter' with his name beneath it.  And so it begins.
Tonight, he wrote letters on a piece of paper in no particular order, asked me what they said, and then gave me the "defintion".  It went something like this:

• G:  What does this say? (holding up his sign that says "RF SGN")
• Me:  Ummm...errfsgen?
• G: Yep. It's another word for 'excuse me', when you burp

Graham @ 17 months

Graham's vocab is picking up.  He's got 'car' and he's perfected 'all done'. Oh, and he's signing 'more'.  I'm anti-sign language because I've got it stuck in my head that it's going to keep him from talking even longer but Sara doesn't know I'm against it and I don't want to hurt her feelings so now both the boys are signing everything from 'more' to 'thank you' to 'yes'.  Did you know that you make your hand into a fist and bob it up and down to say yes in sign language?  Yeah, neither did I.  What's wrong with nodding your head? 



I didn't get on a plane for the entire month of March and in fact am supposed to be in Jacksonville right now but a flight delay screwed up my schedule so I took the opportunity to stay home on this one too.  It's been a nice change.  April, May and June bring international air space back into our lives with trips to Canada, Paris, Cabo and Amseterdam.  The blog has been quiet because I've been enjoying my time with Mike and the boys.

The video below, from our second Flip camera because the first one went in the bathtub courtesy of Graham, is downtime with the boys at our house in the month of March.  Our first Flip camera now joins the likes of numerous cell phones, water logged or lost, my iPad which met its fate on an airplane from Dehli after a 10 hour flight (I flat out forgot it on the plane and do not deserve to carry anything that valuable ever again) and 2 iPods, both lost to the water, one at the hands of Greyson at age 2 and the other to an unfortunate incident in Cancun.

We hope you're all starting to get some glimpses of spring.  She shows her face at fleeting moments in Seattle but this week is wet.  We haven't suffered the long and miserable snowy/icy/cold Wisconsin winter so you won't hear us complaining but we're definitely ready for warmth and sunshine just like everyone else.  We're missing you terribly and looking forward to blog comments, emails and phone calls.

5 years old is what’s up!

Greyson and I were driving to the store on Sunday, a day before his 5th birthday, to buy sprinkles and frosting for his homemade chocolate cake (cake decorator I am not- but I’ll share the picture anyway) when he asked me what I do for a living ~

• G: “Mom, what do you do for your job"?”
• Me: “Hmm…that’s a good question”…
• Me:  (still thinking) “I’m trying to think of a good way to describe it”
• G:  “Just do the best you can”

His 5th birthday celebration consisted of a fun weekend at Great Wolf Lodge (a.k.a. “MONEY PIT”), popsicles with his friends at school, a playdate with a favorite friend and cake and ice cream at home.  Mike and I gave him Marbleworks, a toy I bought when he was 9 months old and miraculously didn’t lose (considering there was a 1500 mile cross-country move between then and now, I’m patting myself on the back).

He’s proud of being 5.  He woke up on the morning of his birthday, requested purple pancakes (he got ‘em!) and told us that he was going to do the valet drop off at school.  This is a really big deal because he has absolutely refused to do drop off or pick up at school since his first day when he completely freaked out. But on Monday when Mike and I brought popsicles for snack time, his teacher told me that at drop-off he got out of the car, held his chest high with a big smile and gave her a high five. 

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I can’t believe our 5lb 1oz first born baby boy is 5.  He started tee ball with Kirkland Little League today.  His uniform is #4 and something tells me he’s going to have a problem with that because he’s definitely not 4 anymore.

GREY*isms*

• (taking a bite of a donut at Great Wolf Lodge) “This donut absolutely tastes like sausage”

Cue the Waterworks

I came home early today because the cold, the fever, the aches, the congestion- everything that swept through my house last month, that I’ve avoided, and bragged about and shamelessly congratulated myself for…EVERYTHING hit me at once.  Yesterday afternoon.  With no warning.  And no sign of going away anytime soon.  And tonight, on St. Patrick’s Day, we were to celebrate with friends and homemade corned beef and cabbage and Bailey’s cheesecake and instead I heated up leftovers for Graham while Greyson made himself “jelly bread”.  And (I’m going to see how many times I can start a sentence with the word ‘and’) when I say he made it himself, I mean he got the bread from the pantry, the canned blackberry jam from the fridge, a plastic knife from the silverware drawer and he tore the crusts from his bread, spread the jam and he ate that sandwich as fast as he could because I had to bribe him with post-dinner ice cream and an early birthday gift for ruining his night that was to be spent with his friend Vincenzo where he surely would have ignore the corned beef and cabbage and dug straight into the cheesecake.

This boy, our boy, is going to be 5 on Monday.  While we waited for daddy to get home tonight, Greyson ran upstairs with Graham, stopped on the landing and said, “Mom, you know what I did during naptime today"?”

• Me: “What did you do?”
• G: (pride in his voice) “I prayed”

Cue the waterworks.

Though we missed a fun St. Patrick’s celebration, Greyson did get to spend yesterday afternoon playing with Vincenzo whose mom is quite the talent with a camera.  Thanks Mrs. Mouthy for the pics.

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Tomorrow we leave for Great Wolf Lodge to celebrate Greyson’s birthday.  I hope he remembers to pray for my health tonight.  I need a little divine intervention.

Greyson Says…

…“Is Yoda a creditor?”  ~March 2, 2011

Mike is the traveler this week.  He’s in Portland for 3 days and I’m excited for him and the opportunities he’s got going on there.  He’s also getting a chance to reconnect with an old high school friend and teammate, watch movies in his hotel room, order room service and otherwise enjoy a few quiet nights.

*GREYisms*

• G:  “Look at Graham’s boobs!”
• Me: “Graham does not have boobs”
• G:  “Is that a private part?”
• Me:  “Yes”
• G:  “That’s why you wear a broth?”

That exchange came about a week after he made a Valentine for Sara with a self portrait on the front and on the back, “a picture of me as a baby eating from Mom’s boobs”.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our son is obsessed with breasts and yes, Mike did take a picture of that masterpiece:

I’ve had the most fun these past few days with the boys by myself but last night I said “isn’t it fun sometimes to just hang out with mommy, or just hang out with daddy?” and he said “no, 2 is better”.

Here’s a few other *isms* from the past few months.  If I had one day to do anything I wanted, I would just sit and listen to Greyson talk (aka philosophize).

• G:  “A Jedi can protect me from bees, lions and hummingbirds “  ~November 2010
• G:  “You shouldn’t drink beer or wine in the car or it will spill. It’s better to use a sippy cup” ~January 2011
• G:  (explaining why Graham was naked in the playroom) “My brain was just thinking it should take Graham’s clothes off” ~March 2011 
• Me:  “Hayden was a good cat, wasn’t he?”
• G:  (sigh) “Yeah, he was a good listener”  ~March 2011

And one last deep thought, by Greyson Guenther…

• G:  (at bedtime, recognizing that in other places in the world, people are just waking up) “It’s always light somewhere” ~March 2011 

It sure is Greyson, it sure is.

Creativity Bust

This isn’t a blog, but a log.

1. We had a low key and relaxing weekend that included haircuts for the boys, Graham’s first by a professional, and dinner at a friend’s house where we had lamb burgers on the BIG GREEN EGG. (see #5)

Graham at “the haircut store”

2. Graham is severely allergic to peanuts. My unfortunate mom & sister were the ones to discover it after a knife that once had peanut butter on it was used to cut his fruit.  A day/night in the ER and a large stash of EpiPens later and he’s OK. I’m praying he outgrows it.

3. Last week Greyson and Graham got sick at the same time for the first time.  Fevers, ear infections, cough and cold (and pink eye for Greyson, in both eyes). Then Sara got it.  Then Mike. So far, I’ve been spared.

4.  My 4th trip to Ireland just wrapped up. I’m in over my head on the business side, mostly thankful for my Ripon College education, but failing to put it to use as I attempt to clone myself.

Michelin Star restaurant in Dublin…YUM

5. Mike and I dined at Woodfire Grill in Atlanta, as I mentioned in my most recent (yes, I know, not all that recent) post.  It exceeded our expectations and now we need to find an excuse to fly back to Atlanta to eat.  Seriously amazing.

5. Mike had the distinct pleasure of celebrating his birthday in Cancun (little bit of sarcasm there). My colleagues made sure he was full of tequila and I made sure to let him know that his gift, the BIG GREEN EGG, was ordered and would be ready to fire up upon his return.  His Egg envy is gone; now he’s just overwhelmed with ideas, blogs, recipes and demonstrations.

6. My all girl’s golf team, Chicks with Sticks, took the $400 prize in Cancun.  We did it under the influence of copious amounts of tequila, a coordinated effort by the men in the tournament to sabotage our efforts.  But alas, their efforts were in vain and we look forward to defending our title next year.  All in all, it was a great trip aside from a monsoon on our last day that holed us up in the hotel lobby where adults aged 35-50 played the college card game Asshole. I had to look up the rules on the internet further demonstrating how many years have passed since we graduated from the aforementioned accredited College.

Chicks w/ Sticks and the sabotaging 4some in front of us

7.  Congrats to the pregnant Goehlers who are having a boy this summer, to the Shahs who are having a girl and to the Becks who are having a baby.  I’m sure I left someone out and I’m sorry.  We do try to keep up with all of you and miss you terribly, even if we don’t tell you to your face.

8.  Greyson turns 5 next month.  His teacher has asked us to consider holding him from Kindergarten until he turns 6.  This would make him what likely would be the oldest 6 year old in his class.  She made sure to let me know that it has zero to do with his intelligence and everything to do with his emotional-readiness.  I’m not emotionally stable enough to make this decision and I started Kindergarten a month after I turned 5. He can pronounce the word ‘unbelievable’ and use it appropriately in context. So he cries a lot.  Maybe I should stop sending him to bed without dinner if he forgets the i before e.

The boys of winter

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On a plane again…have I used this title before?

Cue Willie Nelson…and a country twang.  “On the road again” (or plane, as it were)

This post is going to bore you and I’m sorry.  Or, maybe they all bore you, but you keep coming back!  Between the NFC Championship win, 10 days on the road, jet-lag, shopping with Greyson, smothering Graham and the Super Bowl climax (YES!!!), I don’t have a lot left in me to creatively share all of the in between. 

My trip to Asia was amazing. The people in both India and China were so accommodating and friendly.  The service was top-notch, the food was exotic and (mostly) delicious.  Our hosts in both countries made sure that we got a chance to try the local flavors- traditional Peking Duck is worth the great time and effort that goes into preparing it.  We took a trip to the Great Wall.  Amazing.  I would like to go back to India; preferably next year at the same time. The weather was perfect.

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Greyson had all sorts of good things to say when I got home. I brought him a Chinese kite and woke him up from his nap.  We laid in his bed for an hour, me dozing and him talking a mile a minute.  His best line, “I thought you were never going to come back!”  Ouch.

After 5 jet-lagged and kid-filled days back at home, Mike and I are, for the first time in a long time, on a plane side by side en route to Cancun with an overnight stop in Atlanta where we’re going to eat at the Woodfire Grill, one of our favorite Top Chef’s restaurants.  The boys are safely and happily in the hands of my mom, sister and Alayna so no worries there.  We’re like kids in a candy store right now, having a cocktail on the plane and watching movies.  I feel guilty…sort of…well, not really. 

Hasta luego!

This is my Hyderabad hotel, not Cancun ;-)    

PS. I fell in love with my toilet in Beijing.  That is, the toilet in my hotel room at the Fairmont.  It had a heated seat, it opened automatically when I stepped in front of it and, in turn, closed when I walked away.  An electronic panel mounted on the wall to my right gave me all sorts of options for ‘extras’.  I Skyped with Mike and the kids and it’s the first thing I showed them.  My Fairmont toilet is not to be confused with the one below which was 1 of 2 options in the women’s bathroom on our way to the Great Wall.  I’m not averse to trying new things but take note of the garbage can and imagine the stench.  My guess is the last cleaning occurred somewhere between 2004 and 2007.

The 2nd toilet option in this bathroom was not photographed, unfortunately. Although it looked like the Western toilets we all know and love, the seat was covered with a worn terry-cloth material that was padded and printed with pink and purple hearts.  I chose door # 2 and hovered.  TMI, I know.

Travel Edition, Volume 1

Update re: The Barber Shop Duo. I mentioned that the kids' hair was wet during the hair cutting episode? We found out last week, that the product used to wet it was…Windex. OMG.

On an unrelated note, the "note" below is from Greyson to Sara.  His words and letters may not be in order but gratitude is there. Can you figure out the puzzle?  First person to solve it gets a prize!

I titled this post the travel edition because Mike and I have a fair amount coming up and for all of the craziness that comes with it, we're looking forward to some fun in there too.  I’m leaving for Beijing on Sunday where I’ll spend 5 days before flying onto Hyderabad for a few days. Let me say it again, “leaving…on Sunday. At 1:00pm. DURING THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP. Shoot me now. I can’t believe I’m missing Packers/Bears. UGH.

Beijing is going to be a great experience. I’ll be there just prior to Chinese New Year which I understand is a very big deal. We have time set aside to see The Great Wall so pictures will be posted at some point. From Beijing I fly to India for a few days. Hyderabad. I don’t know what’s there but it’s 85 and sunny and I’m Vitamin D deprived.

GREY*isms*

• G: “I wanna go to China with you!”
• Me: “You do? Why"?”
• G: “Because there’s Chinese food there”

Mike and I leave for my company’s annual Cancun trip on February 8th. My mom, sister and Alayna are flying in to watch the boys. I know they’re all giddy with excitement and I’m looking forward to spending a day with them before we go. It’s Jen and Alayna’s first visit to Seattle so there will be no shortage of sight seeing and fun while we’re away. 
The week after that, I’m back to Ireland for a few days of meetings. We both have some short trips in March and April and then in May we’re heading to Cabo with the Mullens from our old neighborhood.  In July we’ll be home sweet home for the 4th.

GREY*isms*

• G: “Mom, you should go to Argentina”
• G: “Mom, if we were going to drive to Wisconsin, that would take hours”
• Me: “Grey, how about we go to Italy together?”  
• G: “ Is there toys there?”

Graham, with his bottom teeth and 2 eye teeth, could have joined a coven of vampires for the past 2 months but his 5th tooth, front left, finally popped out a couple of weeks ago. I regret that I didn't get a picture of my little blood sucker. It was funny (and a little creepy).  He's attempting to run these days and as you can see in the video, working hard to keep up with his brother.

And, finally, just a few fun pics from our pre-dinner hour tonight.  I usually take pictures of the boys before I go on a trip so I can show my colleagues the latest and greatest.  It will give me something to talk about with my Chinese and Indian counterparts.  Loving your children is a universal language that everyone understands.

GO PACK!

Barber Shop Duo

In 2009, I blogged about a time that Greyson cut his hair. It was fairly insignificant; a little chop to the bangs and some kudos to him for putting the scissors back where he found them.

On Sunday, after a very fun but long Saturday night hosting my office holiday party, we found the boys on the floor in our bathroom.  Graham’s hair was wet and cut at the crown of his head. Insignificant for the most part; it almost looked like Grey knew what he was doing.  Grey’s hair, also wet, was a ridiculous mess of chops on the top, sides and back of his head.  Random snips, some of them large, like he was attempting to sculpt something.

Now I know almost every parent goes through the “rite of passage” of a child cutting their hair, or their sibling’s hair, or a Barbie doll. But when your husband thinks you’re upstairs with the kids and you think your husband is upstairs with the kids and then you realize that in fact, you’re both downstairs watching the Packer game oblivious to the whereabouts of the kids…well, a momentary panic sets in given how quiet it was.

This is what we walked into…

And this is what “that” looks like…

The pictures unfortunately do not capture what can only be described as “clumps” missing from the very top and back of his head.  He’s worried about how long it’s going to take to grow back.  He should be more worried about whether we let him leave the house again.  Thankfully Graham walked away unscathed.  Did I reprimand myself for leaving the scissors on the counter in the bathroom well within reach of a 4 year old?  Why would I do that?

On a positive note, Greyson drew the following portraits of us using a fun template that my mom got him for Christmas.  He drew Graham as well but for some reason we can’t find it. Maybe Graham threw it away since the hair wasn’t quite right.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

‘Twas the first day of the new year and all through our house, toys were scattered on every floor; enough to hide a large mouse, or a family of rats, or shit, a full-grown Bengal tiger and her cubs.

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We woke up in our own home on Christmas morning for the first time since 1996 (and it wasn’t “our” home then, it was our respective parent’s homes well before we were married).  We enjoyed the pace, the chaos of wrapping paper and musical toys, ball pits and forts, the fresh baked croissants from Williams Sonoma (wow). But we sincerely missed the familiarity of Christmas Eve at my parent’s house and Christmas Day at Mike’s. Every meal fit for a king.  The bonds between the cousins.  Snow.  The jury is out on next year. We’ll see.

I bought a sucker for Greyson’s stocking from my new favorite store, Metropolitan Market (Met Market to the locals)…

Later that day…no wonder the thing cost $4.99!

We celebrated New Year’s Eve at Suncadia in Cle-Elum, WA; the heart of the Cascade Mountains, with our friends, the Herrera’s and their 2 boys.  Hot chocolate, wine and plenty of food.  Lots and lots of snow and sunshine.  It was gorgeous and relaxing and we will definitely go back.  Mike surprised me with a massage and facial at the spa. It was an amazing treat.

Greyson had the best *isms over our holiday break but I was too busy playing to write them down.  I’m sorry about that, because they were really good and my memory is worse than Graham’s poopy diapers.

Graham, BTW, is a full-fledged walking toddler. He prefers to walk and he’s good at it and he’s RIDICULOUSLY cute.  I have videos, lots of ‘em, and I plan to post at some point.  But it takes a long time and I’m watching a movie with Mike.  G’night.  And Happy 2011.  Blessings on us all.